Last week I was STRUGGLING. Like, knot in my stomach, couldn't take a deep breath, felt like I was going to throw up or have a heart attack struggling. The week prior, I stepped back from coaching so I could focus on my family. I want to spend less time on social media and my computer, and more time supporting my children and husband.
But then... BUT. THEN. I was offered an incredible position helping someone build out their property management company/portfolio, and it was literally so much of what I love about real estate. I've managed our rental properties for 5 years, and I love it. I love the systems. I love the processes. I love the people. This position felt SO right.
Until it didn't.
This was something that would take time away from my family... the thing I just got back. I could 100% justify it as a benefit: Financially it would be great. It would give me the chance to hire out projects and tasks that would free all of us up for other fun things. It would be a chance for growth - personally and investment wise. It would be serving someone else. But, as I thought on it, the knot in my stomach grew bigger.
Friday morning, I reached out to one of my best friends and asked her to pray for me. To pray for peace and guidance.
And then, only an hour later, as I was sitting in my VIP Coaching Summit (yes, I pay for personal coaching) the women leading us spoke on taking time to breath, to fight for our families, to be present, and to follow the will of God. And little by little my stomach sank...
At the end of the call, we were invited to be coached live on anything we needed. So, I raised my itty bitty virtual hand and prayed that I wouldn't get called on. Of course, I did. Duh 🙄😂 So I poured my heart out. I told them how I had stepped back from coaching only to be offered this job. I shared my fears of losing time. My worries of not contributing financially. My struggles in staying patient and being a good stay at home mom. These coaches listened and encouraged...
First, they pointed out that I was basing my choices and direction on a story I was telling myself. "Coaching took me away from my family, so this new job would too." They told me that I was more than capable of doing it all. I could be a great mom and wife and also have a great career. I had to believe in myself and create a new story... This was what I wanted to hear.
Shortly after my coaching call, one of the women in my group reached out, and said everything that I didn't necessarily want to hear. She told me that the things I feared about being a stay at home mom were also stories I had created. She encouraged me in God's word and plan, and she reminded me that sometimes the things we are supposed to be doing are not what we want to be doing, nor are they always easy. This was what I needed to hear, even if I didn't fully like it.
You know the hardest part? Everyone was right. Every thought I was having was based on a story I created... I wasn't allowing my decisions to be based off of what I knew in my heart to be true or what I knew could be true. I was basing everything off of the negative stories I was telling myself. What I needed to do, was listen to my heart.
So, when I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture, this is what I knew: The things that matter in life are the things that bring us closer to God. Being a stay at home mom is challenging for me, and in those challenges my need for Him grows. I also know that my greatest goal in life is to have an incredible marriage and a strong relationship with my children for the rest of my life. Both of those things have to be tended now in order to remain strong and continue growing.
I knew that I was recently called to step back and be present. I was called to be home and focus on my family. This is my main purpose right now. Being the wife and mom that my family needs. It may not be the easiest choice. It may not be the "best" choice in some regards. But it's the right choice, and finding peace and joy in that is going to be one of my greatest blessings.
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